李银河说爱情

What is this book about?

A book by the Chinese sociologist of sexuality Li Yinhe, written for general readers, breaking sex, love, marriage, singlehood, and gender into questions that can actually be discussed. She makes no moral judgment; she explains from a sociological angle what marriage has been historically, how it is changing now, and where singlehood and same-sex love stand within institutions. What it answers is the concrete confusion of contemporary Chinese life: pressure to marry, matchmaking, divorce, living alone, and the mismatch between sex and feeling.

Why read it?

It is a popular work of the sociology of marriage and sexuality in a Chinese context, and hard to replace: it carries a sociological frame while answering Chinese readers' actual situation rather than importing Anglo-American debates wholesale. The gain is a set of questions more durable than the question of whether one should or should not.

Core Ideas

• Marriage is not a required stage of life; it can be chosen, and it can be declined.
• Singlehood, same-sex love, and plural ways of living deserve equal dignity and rights.
• Sex and feeling need to be discussed separately rather than run together.
• Seen within history and institutions, many assumptions about marriage and love loosen.

What questions does this book try to answer?

• How can someone who does not marry live a good life?
• How should people in China today handle the relation between love, sex, and marriage?

Who should read it?

For young people in China today, for those who do not intend to marry, and for readers interested in the sociology of sex and love. It also suits anyone pressed about marriage who wants a calm way to answer. Written for a general audience, no academic background required.

How to Read It

The views are open and accommodating, and the book answers the practical confusions of young Chinese readers about singlehood, family pressure, and the relation between sex and love in plain terms. A caution: this is a popular book, and while its positions rest on the author's long research, the argument is summary rather than rigorous demonstration. Relevant laws and policies in China have changed in recent years, so check current rules for any specific provision.